A Pseudo Relationship

I came across a blog earlier because I was searching for articles on "Pseudo Relationships" on the net. I was touched by the write-up I found at lovestoryblog.com. I guess it completely describes what I'm having now. I wasn't actually looking for a relationship like this, but I somehow stumbled into one. :( I don't know if this would end in a good or bad way... but based on what I've read, it usually doesn't end well.

The article says it best:

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangangaliwa
kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na
may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong setup ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Mostly, ang rationalization ng mga napasok dito, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

Ang maganda doon, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang nagmamahal ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask siya to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo or mangsundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the others, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him/her? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him/her you love him/her, you can't. Because you're not sure if s/he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and that someone hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him/her, not entertaining others, only to find out that s/he is seeing other girls or boys?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that that someone is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable girl, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya -- almost, but not quite.

Changes in Zodiac Signs for 2011

Parke Kunkle, an astronomer in Minnesota, says that the change in the Earth’s angle will provide an all-new alignment of the zodiac signs this year. In addition, there may be a new sign - Ophiuchus (13th Sign).

Here is the new alignment:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11 – April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20

Worried that your Zodiac Sign will now change? Most people are, including me (I'd like to keep my Libra sign). But they say the general idea is that whatever you were born under still stands true, but those born starting in 2011 will follow a totally different chart. What do you think?

The Year That Was

It's a shame I only have one post per year for the past two years.. Haha I have started a few blogs, but apparently, the determination to go on fades away through time. My other blogs haven't received any updates for years now. hehe For this reason, I have decided to take the 365 challenge. (It's really "365 Project" for most, but I'm taking it as a challenge.) For the whole year of 2011, I'll be putting up one post every single day. I made a different blog just for this. I'll be counting the blessings, no matter how small they may appear to be. I've realized that life is truly full of surprises and it's the little things that make up life. So I'll be keeping my eyes open for the little (and big) surprises that may come my way, everyday, for 2011.

Speaking of surprises, 2010 was full of it too -- things that weren't exactly planned way before it happened, but it happened anyhow.

January 2010 was a month of contemplation. My boyfriend and I broke up, so we took a time off. Our communication ceased, with the hopes that one day, we may sit down and talk about all of it calmly and objectively. On the bright side, my siblings and I, along with some friends, partied til morning during New Years (we went home at 8AM!). We were obliged to be there, since my sister and her bf were sponsors of the event. We didn't expect it would end the way it did. What's more, we ate pizza for breakfast! :)

February had it's ups and downs. Me and a friend (Carla) went to Manila for a weekend getaway. She wanted to watch some gigs, I was hoping I would finally have a talk with my ex.. but it didn't happen. We went to Manila, alright, but we didn't get to watch any gigs (because of the conflict of schedules), and I didn't get to see my ex, either. Luckily, we did meet with Vero, a close friend from high school, and she gave us a warm welcome. She sent a chauffeur-driven car, invited us to stay at her very nice condo, and took us partying. We saw a lot of celebrities on the side. Tor, a good friend from college, also showed us around town, and offered a place to stay. It was a fun trip! It didn't exactly go as planned, but it got better somehow.

I also got the chance to model for some photographers back in Feb. It was a great experience! I never thought posing, projecting and smiling in front of the camera could be exhausting. hehe Nevertheless, it helped me cope with the recent breakup sadness. I met new friends and it helped me gain my confidence back.

Two of my sisters have birthdays that fall on March. The family had dinner with two of my sisters' bfs. I can't remember anything else that happened on March.. hehehe One of our cousin's birthday also falls on March - Ate Kaye's.

Speaking of Ate Kaye, she came over for her brother's graduation, and took all of us out on a day trip to one of the nearby resorts last May for her brother's graduation party. It would have been best if we stayed their for the night, but we saved that for next time. :)

On the same month, my siblings and I had the chance to watch a show again, and be reunited with the folks at the performing arts school we used to belong to. It was great to see them, especially our director. It has been years! Watching them perform made us want to dance again. :)

June was one of my closest friend's birth month. We had dinner on his birthday at one of his friend's restaurant -- who, that night, asked for my number. Surprising how the digits in our mobile numbers are almost identical.

July was a month full of celebrations. Two of my closest friends' birthdays fall on this month, plus, one of them got married! :) And, there's one other nice thing that started last July... :)

The end of August til the first week of September was a time to get away from all the usual stuff. Me and my brother, along with our cousin, and her workmates, went to Cebu and Bohol for a vacation. It was a grrreat time! We had our own villa at Bohol, we took a day tour, went snorkeling, ate A LOT of fresh seafoods, went partying at Cebu, also took a day tour there, and went to Plantation Bay (one of the top 100 resorts in the world), among others. I probably need a separate blog post to tell you everything. haha But I'd let the pictures say a thousand words....

October and November were also months full of traveling -- Cebu, Hong Kong, and Manila. The Cebu-Hong Kong trip was spent with friends. I was kinda hesitant, (because of the bus hostage case) but Dixie was persistent, and I really wanted to go... so at the last minute I decided to join them, and I'm glad I did. I would have missed out on a lot of wonderful things if I didn't. I encountered a lot of "firsts" during the trip, including a ride on a roller coaster! Did I mention I'm afraid of heights? HA! I thought I'm gonna diiieeee...

November was vacation time for the whole family. We all went to Manila, and met with our cousins and aunt. It was a short trip, but we made the most of it. We even went all the way to Pagsanjan Falls! :) A particular highlight was the boat ride, which passes through 14 rapids maneuvered by boatmen between rocks and boulders, leading to the main falls. Unfortunately, for safety reasons, we didn't reach the main falls. It was getting dark, and it started to rain.

December's always a great time. Why, it's Christmas time! :) 2010's special though. I had another "first"! :) And I'm super grateful. Truly, life is full of surprises. I wonder what's in store for this year, I'm excited to find out! Happy new year everyone!!

The End of Facebook - March 15, 2011?

WeeklyWorldyNews:

PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.

“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”

Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.

“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back once Facebook goes out of business.”

Zuckerberg said that the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.

“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”

Some Facebook users were furious upon hearing the shocking news.

“What am I going to do without Facebook?” said Denise Bradshaw, a high school student from Indiana. “My life revolves around it. I’m on Facebook at least 10 hours a day. Now what am I going to do with all that free time?”

However, parents across the country have been experiencing a long anticipated sense of relief.

“I’m glad the Facebook nightmare is over,” said Jon Guttari, a single parent from Detroit. “Now my teenager’s face won’t be glued to a computer screen all day. Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.”

Those in the financial circuit are criticizing Zuckerberg for walking away from a multibillion dollar franchise. Facebook is currently ranked as one of the wealthiest businesses in the world, with economists estimating its value at around 7.9 billion.

But Zuckerberg remains unruffled by these accusations. He says he will stand by his decision to give Facebook the axe.

“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”

The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.

Could this be true? I doubt it.

Here's what the people at Liquida has to say about it:

"It's a rumor based on a fictitious, satirical story published on WeeklyWorldNews.com, a tabloid-style website (and formerly a weekly newspaper) best known for such past scoops as 'Alien Spaceships to Attack Earth in 2011' and 'Megan Fox Is a Man.' It isn't news. It barely even qualifies as a rumor...."